David I. Brandt,  - Psychoanalysis • Psychotherapy • Counseling
Tools & Insights

Enlist Them in Your Bind™

Enlist Them in Your Bind™

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When we want to tell someone something that is not so easy to tell - that might even be somewhat confrontational or “loaded" in nature - and we find ourselves in conflict, and equivocating, over how to tell them, there is a technique that may well be of some use!

A parent may have to set a limit for a child who he/she knows is not going to like it.  A husband, wife or partner may need to explain some behavior to his/her spouse.

From the Pumpkin Therapy Patch

From the Pumpkin Therapy Patch

Shared Meaning™

Shared Meaning™

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All too often we converse with each other yet seem to be having two different conversations. One is speaking about apples and the other is speaking about oranges, though we think we are talking about the same things. 

The truth is we each process our experiences and interactions through our own subjective filters that are born of multiple sources (such as family of origin influences, genetics, what we've learned, self-esteem needs, peer interaction history, past traumas, projection, etc.

Say, I Happen to Practice Psychotherapy Right Here in Jersey!

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Showing Up™

Showing Up

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I have heard it said that "showing up is half the battle".  One can hold onto this thought in one's back pocket to help them move in the face of anticipatory fears and negative assumptions that might otherwise impede movement and stir up avoidance.  Examples of these impeding thoughts might be: I'll be bored, or, no one will like me, or, they'll think I'm trying to prove something, I'll be all alone, I won't know what to say, I'm too fat, etc.

Approach, Tone and Attitude™

Approach, Tone and Attitude™

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All too often we take the ones we are closest to the most for granted.  We feel that "they know us" or that they will love us unconditionally, and thus we can say whatever we want to say however we want to say it.  The assumption is usually that they will simply "understand what we mean".

First of all, what I have found from working with couples in couples therapy (and parents and children in family therapy) is that this is exactly NOT true!

Too Much Jargon Doth Not a Great Therapist Make!

I try not to use too much jargon!

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Getting Moving and Just Doing™

Getting Moving and Just Doing™

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This is about the idea of  "just doing".  If we  "just do"  something (some small anything) in the direction of what we want to do when we're feeling stuck, and it doesn't much matter what, we are then already in motion which is a powerful tool/force! 

For example, if one has writer's block, then it often really helps to just 'spit out' whatever one can onto the paper without too much thought, pre-judgment or perfectionism - trusting that there is an editing/draft process later.

Unrequited Rescue Longings or Counter-transference

I am having SUCH counter-transference issues with this patient!


Humor Can Be Therapeutic