The 2% Rule ™ Regarding Nagging a Spouse or any Other
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If someone is nagging us and driving us crazy with their relentless nagging, it is important to realize a couple of things: Firstly, the other person is probably not crazy in that something about whatever they are perceiving in our actions or in-actions truly is hitting some button in them (e.g., increasing their anxiety, offending them, maybe we really are ignoring them, etc.). In other words they have their subjective truth about what they are experiencing in our dynamic.
Secondly, how often is the "mis-step" that they perceive occurring? Are they nagging us obsessively with no sense that our "mis-step" is unusual, rare and/or just human? For couples or people that get into these sorts of dynamics, it might be useful to agree upon a percentage amount, say 2-10%, whereby if the "mis-step" occurs less than that percentage of the time, then the "perceiver" of the injustice (or the infringement) gives them a pass and doesn't raise it or nag them about it. But if it starts to get over the percentage, then they have an agreed upon right to raise it and have an intelligent and calm discussion about the matter and dynamics afoot (or go to psychotherapy [or the like] if they cannot).
Of course this presumes that the couple or pair have previously agreed upon whatever it is that is getting nagged about. If that is NOT the case then THAT becomes the issue that first needs to be negotiated!!
(NOTE: No one idea is always the right solution for all people all of the time. These tools are just a part of a picture when working on couple's or pair's dynamics, not the whole picture.)