Honest for Whom™
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How many times have we heard: “Honesty is the best policy.” Or, “Be Real." Or, “I tell it like it is." Or, "I pull no punches.” Or, “I say exactly what is on my mind.” Whereas, in general, "the truth will set you free”, there are several situations where it may be better to think before we speak, or, in other words, where “discretion is the better part of valor”!
When one feels like “telling it like it is” and being totally up front and honest with another, it is a good idea to ask oneself, Honest for whom??? Are we being so honest and direct because we feel better after it? To prove a point? Exact our pound of flesh? Or, is there really a good purpose in our honesty? What are our motives? Are we helping someone or some situation or does it just end up being purely hurtful and gratuitous? These questions to ourselves are important filters through which to test whether or not to disclose, or confront others with, our “truths”, as we subjectively experience them. Taking a moment to reflect upon our motives vs. impulsively blurting out the “truth” is essential!
Since truth is often a subjective interpretation of matters, it is our truth and not necessarily another’s. (And, by the way, IT IS INDEED important to attempt to be as honest as possible with ourselves!) Much thought must therefore go into whether or not it would be helpful to confront another with our views/feelings. There certainly are times when it is of great value. As often, though, there are times when silence or letting a person come to their own sense of themselves and/or their actions is equally as valuable and perhaps much more likely to bear positive fruit!!