David I. Brandt,  - Psychoanalysis • Psychotherapy • Counseling
Tools & Insights

Starting and Never Finishing: Patterns of Giving Up™

Starting and Never Finishing: Patterns of Giving Up™
 
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If one finds that one has little patience for “process” and thus tends to give up prematurely on efforts and ideas, then one might need to look deeper into the causes of one's seeming impatience and flightiness.  Impatient and flighty patterns, over time, can easily accrue to depression, anxiety, stuckness and low self-esteem. One starts to feel that one is in some way “different” from others, defective in learning, and/or impulsive in deciding on ideas and direction.  One may begin to wonder if one has chronic ADD or ADHD or if one is depressed, perfectionistic or simply too proud. These and other possible root causes are not only possible, but can, unfortunately, serve to further boggle and confound, adding to one’s depression, anxiety, stuckness and already lowered self-esteem.
 
Often these patterns of giving up are based upon underlying negative assumptions.  These habituated assumptions take the form of "automatic negative tapes” (e.g., “I’m not good at stuff," "I can’t learn," "something’s wrong with me,” etc.) playing in the background,  pervasively undermining all that one attempts!  A good coach, counselor, therapist, group or other support might well be of help in, firstly, determining if underlying diagnoses are actually present and need to be concurrently addressed.  With respect to the habituated underlying negative assumptions, a therapist or other helper may also aid in uncovering/identifying the “automatic” (and often unconscious) messages one regularly sends to one’s self, and, in helping one connect to where those messages came from, ultimately help one begin to  catch  those automatic messages/assumptions so that they become conscious and, therefore, can be worked on and counteracted!
 
Bear in mind that NOT continuing in a particular direction or activity may actually, at times, be a  healthy decision  representing being genuinely in tune with one’s self.  It is repeated patterns of flitting about, impulsively changing and/or giving up on chosen paths or activities that may be cause for further investigation or exploration.
 

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