David I. Brandt,  - Psychoanalysis • Psychotherapy • Counseling
Tools & Insights

Parenting

Does the Perspective of the Listener Matter?

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Interesting Commentary on Marriage

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(Do you see these couples as potentially peaceful? Bored and mechanized? Close or distant? OK or not OK?)

Can One Ever Successfully Possess or Fully Know Another Person?

“Marriage … that odd mixture of violent devotion and legitimate lust in which desire eventually gives way to a forced and decorous composure that captures the essential opacity of even one’s most intimate partner”

Alberto Moravia (translated from Italian)

Problem vs. Solution Focus

Problem vs. Solution Focus

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Found this quote below. Sometimes, we really do need to focus in on, and deconstruct, issues, if only to raise our own consciousness of their essential components and/or of the issues themselves. There also comes a point where:

"If I focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger. If I focus on the solution, the solution gets bigger."

Thank you to Twitter @jonniqueen (whoever you may be!?) for this one.

The Secret Blessing of Letting Go:

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Orienting and Partializing™

Orienting and Partializing™

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Tend to procrastinate in the face of bigger, time-consuming tasks? Or in the face of stuff you just don't feel like doing?

Try doing five minutes of the task before lunch or dinner so that you ALREADY are in process/progress with it when you take a break. Now you are over the "unknown" aspect of it.  It is already now familiar and real (vs. built up and imagined) and you might have even started to gain momentum or get ideas about it.

Starting and Never Finishing: Patterns of Giving Up™

Starting and Never Finishing: Patterns of Giving Up™
 
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If one finds that one has little patience for “process” and thus tends to give up prematurely on efforts and ideas, then one might need to look deeper into the causes of one's seeming impatience and flightiness.  Impatient and flighty patterns, over time, can easily accrue to depression, anxiety, stuckness and low self-esteem. One starts to feel that one is in some way “different” from others, defective in learning, and/or impulsive in deciding on ideas and direction.

Refrigerator Magnet Psychology/Wisdom! Heed!

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Walking on Eggshells™

Walking on Eggshells™

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Having to walk on eggshells around someone can be irritating, self-esteem annihilating, and may, over time, encourage completely giving up on communication with the person that makes one feel that way!  This in turn can lead the 'eggshell-walker' to passive-aggressive responses, over-sensitized responses, non-democratic decision-making (usurpation), and/or a whole host of other sequelae, as communication 

Honest for Whom™

Honest for Whom™

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How many times have we heard: “Honesty is the best policy.”  Or, “Be Real." Or, “I tell it like it is." Or, "I pull no punches.”  Or, “I say exactly what is on my mind.”  Whereas, in general, "the truth will set you free”, there are several situations where it may be better to think before we speak, or, in other words, where “discretion is  the better part of valor”!